My son and I went to purchase a cake for my mother’s birthday two days ago. My mom’s absolute favorite cake to eat is Chinese fruit cake. Just before ordering the cake, my 7 year old starts to complain and question why we have to get Chinese fruit cake, when his favorite is chocolate cake. The most simple and obvious answer was given; “it is grandma’s birthday not your.”
Of course children deserve to be rewarded, and pampered ones in a while. But when it becomes a daily part of everyday living, then for sure we are overindulging them, and that is no good.
Like meal time for example; how many parents prepare a meal for themselves, then have to go back in the kitchen and prepare something different for your child. Maybe even fix two or three different meal, because all of your children like different things. Are you being a considerate parent, or just pampering them to much?
Maybe you are not a overindulgent parent, but everyone else around you is. When my boys are with my parents, they get everything and anything they want. I am sure this can be said for most grandparent’s, or even other relatives. You go over to a family dinner, and the food that is set, may not be what is usually cooked at home. Because relatives like to make everyone comfortable, of course they ask ‘your child’ if they want something else and go out of the way to please your child.
What about bribing a child to do something they do not want to do, but should or have to do. Again we will go back on meal times. Try as you might to get them to eat something they do not like, you try to bribe them to eat it. Telling them if they finish their meal then a sweet treat will be given, or even extra screen time will be allowed.
We all do this with daily activity, like cleaning up their own mess, taking a bath, doing their homework, and these days even eating a healthy meal. When I was a child, there was only one meal made, so you had to eat it. When it came to toys, in my household you would be lucky if you had two different toys to play with, instead of so much kids have today. Being able to take a nice bath everyday would have been a blessing. What is there to say about homework……..
We are living in a different times now. So of course the way my generation grew up, will be different from the next. But one thing should always remain the same, children should always respect their parents. But it seems this day in age, parents are respecting the wishes of their child more at a young age, which in turn, is not beneficial for the child.
Of course we all have our own way of parenting, but I feel that ones you start overindulging your child at a young age, the expectation your child has is high. And if you are unable to fill that requirement they have, then the behavior will just start to get worse as they grow. Not just between you and your child, but also with other connection your child forms with others as they grow older.
Love your child throughout it all, just remind them that YOU are the parent and they are the child, not the other way around. I am not saying to be a bully, I am saying to take the time to explain the reason they must eat their vegetable. Find time in the day to play what ever game they would like, then after help them to understand why things must be cleaned up and put away. Homework if never that much fun, but it is work that needs to be done. Ask if they need help, maybe the reason they dislike doing schoolwork, is because they do not understand it. Do not forget bath time, a chance to play, relax and unwind for their little minds.
Indulge children with good behavior, do not overindulge them with bad routine.